You caught your wife fucking the mailman
You threw her down a flight of stairs
Your son came home with 4 Ds and an F
You kicked him in the balls and in the face

If I was a cop, called to your house
Id congratulate you for beating your spouse
Id shake your hand for beating your son
If he was my kid, Id take out my gun

[Chorus:]
Domestic violence is really, really, really funny
[x4]

Your teenage daughter came home pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time
You put on your boots and kicked her in the stomach
Then you caught your wife sucking the mailmans dick
So you threw her down the stairs again

If I was a cop, called to your house
Id offer to shoot your no-good spouse
If I had to deal with your teenage slut
Id gladly kick her in the gut

[Chorus]