I don't feel a thing when I see a nude Pamela Lee
A whopper meal with cheese ain't my cup of tea
I'm a sensitive person, please be gentle with me
'Cos I believe everything you say and take it seriously
I wanna be a regular guy
Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
God, let me be a regular guy
Remember when you were Gene Simmons, I pretended I was Voltaire
Now I hold a professorship while you scratch your pubic-hair
You can spend a day just watching your sweetheart get a perm
I rack my brain over: which came first? The intestine or the tapeworm?
I wanna be a regular guy
Dig Quentin Tarantino films or maybe wear a tie
Instead I read Nietzsche and get a philosophic high
Please, let me be a regular guy
Fifteen years old and God was James Joyce
Studied to become an opera-singer, but I always lost my voice
My best friend was my asthma-medicine
I was quoting Ulysses when you saw Led Zeppelin
I wanna be a regular guy
Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
God, let me be a regular guy