your last name's weinstein and your first name's jay
you're a food critic and you're fucking gay
you have more hair on your face than you have on your head
pretty soon you'll have a.i.d.s. and you'll be fucking dead

[chorus:]
you are a food critic
[x4]

you're old enough-to have bought "let it be" when it was new
you're bald enough-to blind a bird you fucking jew
you're gay enough-to go out with liberace
you're gay enough-you fucking fag
i'm 22,you're 33 and you go to school with me
jay weinstein is a gay bald jew with a beard