[Music: Roderer]
[Lyrics: Krull]

Lying there in a small crib
Naked and innocent
Just loosing my virginity
Only four years old
A menacing man above me
He's my own father!

My legs and arms are limp
Crushed by confusion
Lascivious eyes stare at me
I've never seen before
Musty smell in the air
Diffusing body odor

Feeling like a pig ravished and abused
Praying for my god
The old man with the long white beard

A hurting abdomen, a grieved soul
Tears are running from my eyes
I don't know what's going on
Cries, screams of despair
Fathers slaps in my face
"Shut up little cunt"

Feeling like a pig
Ravished and abused
Praying for my god
The old man with the long white beard

[Lead: Roderer]

Satisfaction - father is groaning
Humiliation - treated like a shitheap
Observation - my brain is empty
Anxiety - father, never do it again!
Atrocity -fear in my eyes
Inbreeding - my body is deseased
Shame - mother won't be told
Some human beings are repulsive animals
[Lead: Roderer]
After a while - the pain is over
Disgusting - full of serous mucus
Genitals - blood runs from my legs
An ugly smile - my father leaves the room
Misery - I'm feeling sick
Depression - I clasp Teddy in my arms
Loneliness - nobody who helps
Some human beings are repulsive animals
First you tried to repress
Then you established:
This nightmare will ever be
Deep in your subconscious2. Life Is A Long And Silent River
[Music: Roderer/Klasen]
[Lyrics: Krull]
Ten more summers pleased the land
Ten more winters numbed the landscape
Time is running quickly
But in my brain a terrible dream never ends
I try to escape from my past
I'm damned to suffer a whole life!
Life is a long and silent river
She grows up - shy, alone and sad
Other kids - kept away from her
Her mother - was divorced long ago
No more love - only alcohol
Life is a long and silent river
No real friends - for the little girl
Nobody understands - what's wrong with her
Her classmates - cheat her all the time
The silent girl - is discriminated against
[Lead: Scharf]
Life is a long and silent river
[Lead: Roderer]
People are shouting at me
"You stupid girl!
How strange you are - never spoke!"
I try to escape from my past
I'm damned to suffer a whole life!
[Lead: Roderer]3. Fatal Step
[Music: Roderer]
[Lyrics: Krull]
I meet a girl - she seems ok
She wants to show me all her friends
But what I can see - I known before
Their red eyes - the same as my Ma's!
The invite me to drink and to take some pills
"You should smoke a pot of hash, too!"
I try to refuse but I wanna integrate
"Don't be a coward - just become our friend!"
"YOU!"
"Just become our friend!"
"TRY!"
"Then you feel like us!"
"TO BE!"
"Without any sorrows!"
"FREE!"
"Without any restraint!"
I want to know these miracle drugs
I want to taste the feelings of them
Beautiful things - in her mind
Thousands of colors - wonderful sounds
Give me some more!
[Lead: Roderer]
This is your first step to your death!4. Hallucinations
[Music: Roderer]
[Lyrics: Krull]
[Lead: Roderer]
Here I got it in my hands
The stuff which creates dreams
So I smoke it, I consume it
to get free, to feel well
I will be in sweet dreams
I will be stoned again
You feel it deep inside
Is it wrong or is it right?
All the things that you feel
Are not true are not real
Life is easy, life is carefree
Hallucinations!
Fuck reality, now I'm free
Doing what I want, only having fun
So I smoke it, I consume it
To get free, to feel well
Life is easy, life is carefree
Hallucinations!
[Lead: Rodere]
I'm flying over, I think clear
Being suspended, heave is near
...Or is it hell?
No one can stop me, this is my time
Be careful, guys, here comes me
self-confident, you will see
The drug inside me, gives me energy
Gives me power, let me win
No more failures, the world is mine!
[Lead: Roderer]
I will be in sweet dreams
All the things that you feel
Are not true, are not real
Life is easy, life is carefree
Hallucinations!5. Defeated Intellect
[Music: Roderer/Schwarz/Klasen/Scharf]
[Lyrics: Krull]
I left cocaine - going insane
my first time - I want to try
I lock the door - I'm really sure
Now I'm alone - the needle in my skin
Defeated intellect - I lost my mind
I know all dangers - but I need more
I inject - now it's too late
Fantastic feelings - coming to ecstasy
Lying in the room - she closes her eyes
Fast raving blood - in her veins
Falling apart - total dilirium
Point of no return - shall overcome
[Lead: Roderer]
There is no serious reason
To give up my decision
I live my life today
I give a shit on any corollary
Step by step you go on,
leave your life in death's hand
Your body is shaking, freezing, perspiring
Opening your eyes, having reveries
Walls look like ice, cold and glinting
The shining sun, reflected lights
Senseless thoughts, nameless words
You cannot act, you have no will
Controlled by poison, suddenly you scream
Father returns: "Get on your knees!"
[Lead: Roderer]
Breathing heavily - oppressive atmosphere
Whispering voices - in your ears
Having red eyeballs - and a dry tongue
attack of giddiness - head is going round
People on the street - walk, rush and speak
Eat, drink, consume - money takes control
They don't care - about you
No time to think - no help for you6. Abyss Of Addiction
[Music: Roderer]
[Lyrics: Krull]
In the dark night, pleasures arise
Searching for lust, thirst for sex
The oldest business, in this world
Shows itself, a whole night long
She stands here - waiting for - another John
One more night - it doesn't count - anyway
No way out - a stranded girl - in red light
Expensive stuff - let you work - at this place
Seductive syringe
Those old false friends - they're gone - left her alone
A big car stops - an old man inside - ugly and fat
"How much is it?" - "I'm rich" - "So let's go!"
The next morning - you'll buy - another ration
[Lead: Roderer]
Having no hope - my time is timeless
Worthless bulk - only for earning money
Used to be - a MANhandled > person
Lost the pride - of a lighthearted girl
Seductive syringe
Abyss of Addiction
ABYSS OF ADDICTION!7. Hold Out (To The End)
[Music: Roderer/Klasen]
[Lyrics: Krull]
"You are here again
At this wicked place
Men look at you
They want to pay the price"
Somebody speaks to you
He wants to set you free
He wants to be your real friend
"It's time for you to leave"
He is an addict, too
He needs the same help
Both have the same aim
To escape from this hell
After a few years
They want to come together
Make a withdrawal treatment
And encourage each other:
Hold out to the end
Resist ...and live
After midnight you hear screams
Addicted bodies wnat their rations
Painful days, sleepless nights
Always greedy of more pills, of more pills
[Lead: Roderer]
Take care of your life
After one week without H
They're thinkning it's all over
Having new hope and courage
Time to leave their dirty flat, dirty flat!
One new man is born
One new girl is born
Death can wait for them
Now they wanna live!
Full of happiness
Both are careless
Going out of the flat
To walk down the streets
[Lead: Roderer]
She reads the newspaper of today
Another guy died by an overdose
But new victims are ready to die
Smiling faces of the big bosses
These rich, powerful, common men
Making business, dealing death
She is shocked by reality
He is going out with "old friends"
Late in the night
The girl is coming home
After closing the door
She looks to the ground
The boy is lying there
One paper in the hand:
"I couldn't still resist
But you must go on:
Hold out to the end
Resist ...and live!"
Hold out!8. Last Temptation
[Music: Roderer]
[Lyrics: Krull]
[Lead: Roderer]
Shuddering night, empty strets, a cat cries
a barking dog, one little girl
on her way to eternity
In her hand, a plastic bag, one cigarette
To calm down, a sad face
Lost her friend, her hopefulness
Eyes full of tears, but have no fear, no hope
Senseless life, no escape
Only white powder, which could help
Arteries are craving, head is exploding
Thoughts are running, hands are shivring
Nerves go crazy, stomach is vibrating
[Lead: Roderer]
A gloomy station, one toilet room
Ugly smell, dirty walls
Drunken men, horrible sluts
Hey, little girl, go away!
A candle is burning, to cook the stuff
The spoon is filled, with deadly fluid
Syringe is fixed, to shoot inside
In her young flesh
The neal forces one's way
The poison spreads in blood
Runs from body in head
Pain ache let you suffer
Drug creates a horror trip
You see disturbing visions
You go out of your mind
[Lead: Roderer]
Shuddering night, empty strets, a cat cries
a barking dog, one little girl
on her way to eternity
On the ground, this little girl, one syringe
Full of smut, cold body
Lost all love, in her world
[Lead: Roderer]
You wanted, to stop it, forget it
It should be, your last time
You want to do, then to finish
[Lead: Roderer]
Last temptation ends one life
But who cares? But who cries?Oliver Klasen - bass
Mathias Roderer - guitar
Alex Krull - vocals
Richard Scharf - guitars
Michael Schwarz - drums
Recorded and Mixed at Morrisound Recording, Tampa, Florida, June/July 1990
Produced by SCOTT BURNS and ATROCITY
Mixed by SCOTT BURNS and ATROCITY
Engineered by SCOTT BURNS and TOM MORRIS
Executive Producer MARKUS STAIGER
All songs by ATROCITY
Cover illustration by H.R.Giger
Work no. 93, "Hommage an S. Beckett I".
100 cm x 80 cm, painted in oil on wood, 1968
H.R. GIGER 1968
Cover concept and ATROCITY logo by Alex Krull
photos by Otto, Elke and Wolle.
The characters, places and incidents described in "Hallucinations" are the
product of Alex Krull's imagination. An resemblance to actual persons, living
or dead, events or locations is entirely coicidental.
TYPER OF THIS TEXT: Andrew Kugaevskiy